Working with Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse

Even then, their commitment to the therapy may waver, especially when the abusive partner offers promises of change and attempts to draw them back into the relationship and away from therapy.

The relationship between the ‘abused’ and ‘victim’ is a near perfect demonstration of Fairbairn’s concept of “attachment to bad objects”. In this model the unconscious is populated by dissociated and then repressed memories of traumatic interpersonal events experienced in childhood. These buried relational patterns, unknown to the conscious ego, are re-enacted out of conscious awareness with new partners in adulthood. The intolerable memories of neglect and abuse are grouped and condensed into an internal view of the rejecting parent called the “rejecting object”, who is in a hostile and ungiving relationship to the frightened, disappointed and angry child, described by Fairbairn as the “antilibidinal ego”. These two inner ego structures continue to interact in the unconscious, and relational patterns from childhood are endlessly replayed in adult relationships, most likely until therapy intercepts.

This seminar will explore in depth such child created object-relational structures and how they are reactivated in intimate relationships. We shall also hear how Fairbairn’s model can provide exceptional insights for psychotherapists working with the abused adult patient, helping to free them from ancient object-relational patterns and to create healthy relationships.